I have a confession to make.
There's something that I've had a problem with my entire adult life.
I know better, and I've made so many attempts at kicking the habit. But to no avail. And so I find myself here, at this moment, looking my demon straight in the face and realizing I'm powerless against it.
They say that the first step is to admit you have a problem. So here I am, admitting it for all the world (or at least the couple dozen of you that read my blog) to see.
So, here it goes...
I hate to pack.
Without fail, the night before every trip I've ever been on, I'm up until the wee hours of the morning packing, because I just can't make myself do it until a deadline is staring me in the face. Oh, I'll have the best of intentions, but I inevitably find myself turning on Craig Fergueson as background noise, emptying out the suitcase that I never unpacked from the last trip we went on and wondering where my life went so horribly wrong.
I'm about to embark on a trip to Paris with some close friends who are equally as Type-A as I am. The difference is, while I'm packing impaired, their Type-Aness extends into the travel arena. They've been checking the weather forecast for weeks. They started vacation shopping months ago. They've packed contingency clothes in case something happens to the ones they've brought. They have a carryon bag just filled with snacks and crafts for their kids on the plane. They have lists a mile long of things to do before the trip that they've been systematically crossing off. They finished packing yesterday.
As for me? I made a list. But then I left it at work. Hopefully I'll still remember to pack underwear and socks, which were the only things that actually seemed to make it on the list before I got distracted and stopped making it. I started to pack some bags this morning, but then I noticed an Us Weekly I hadn't read yet, and since I had to finish it before I could stick it in the recycling bin, it made good sense to stop what I was doing and sit down to read. It was essentially the same thing as cleaning. It was pre-cleaning.
Somehow though, I've managed to get most of it done anyway. The problem is, the closer I get to the finish, the more inclined I am to do things like, say, blog.
So as you go to sleep tonight, say a little prayer for me, as you can be certain that I am still awake, attempting to figure out where we put the electrical outlet adapter and if it's bad to give my kids expired graham crackers as airplane snacks.
Au revoir mes amis!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Pull out your dancing shoes
Dancing with the Stars is back! Or as it's known in my house, Dancing with the Moderately Recognizable! Here are my thoughts on the season so far:
Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl:
I wanted to dislike him on general principle (he's friends with Terrell Owens after all), but I was pleasantly surprised. He's kinda cute and surprisingly humble. And he's got rhythm. Plus, I love Cheryl. I'm hoping he lasts for a long time, despite those lower-than-deserved scores last night.
Shannen Doherty and Mark:
Full confession: I'm a Brenda girl and I never forgave Kelly and Dylan for betraying her like that. So I need her to last longer than Jennie Garth did on her season. She looked a little stiff and nervous last night, but I thought she did great. And I'm totally cheering her on.
Erin Andrews and Maks:
Despite being a sports nut, I had no idea who this girl was. My husband was the one had to tell me. Sidenote: I find it so interesting how the same guy who laughs at me for knowing things like Shannen and Pamela Anderson share an ex-husband, could tell me all kinds of details about this woman. In any event, thought she did fine, but she made no real impression. She's lucky she got paired with the hotness that is Maks. He'll definitely extend her shelf life for another few weeks.
Jake Pav-something and Chelsie:
Don't watch The Bachelor, so no clue who this guy is either. Love Chelsie (although I'd still rather watch reruns of her performances on SYTYCD than anything she's done on this show). I guess they were OK. I admit I started texting at this point.
Evan Lysacek and Anna:
He's really good, if kinda stiff and expressionless. Anna has worked miracles before (Jerry Rice in the finals anyone?) so with his natural talent they have a good shot to go far. Is he still dating Nastia Liukin? If so, my daughter will be on Team Evan.
Niecy Nash and Louis:
Another person I had no idea who she was. Seriously, I clearly need to get out more. I have no memory of her dancing, but she's funny and friends with Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Bonus points!
Nicole Scher-something and Derek:
Yeah, again, never heard of her. And Derek bugs me. I fast forwarded.
Buzz Aldrin and Ashly:
First off, yay for Ashly being back! She was always my husband's favorite. I don't know if that means he secretly wishes he'd married a ballroom dancing Mormon, but I'm okay with it. And that adorable dirty old man Buzz. So what if he can't dance? He's 80-years-old people. And he's been on the freaking moon. And he drinks Tang. It's all good.
Kate Gosselin and Tony:
We've all heard the rumors-- she's a diva, doesn't socialize with the cast. But we can't hate her based on just rumor. Instead we must hate her based on what we know to be fact-- bad hair extensions, way too much pink in that dress and copping a total attitude during the judging portion. My poor Tony. Someday he'll get a partner he can win with.
Aiden Turner and Edyta:
That much pretty in one place isn't fair. Thankfully God balanced it out by making sure he had no dancing ability to speak of.
Pamela Anderson and NewGuy:
Was she drunk?
So far I'm pulling for Ochocinco and Shannen. And of course Tom Bergeron, because he rocks. Who are your faves?
Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl:
I wanted to dislike him on general principle (he's friends with Terrell Owens after all), but I was pleasantly surprised. He's kinda cute and surprisingly humble. And he's got rhythm. Plus, I love Cheryl. I'm hoping he lasts for a long time, despite those lower-than-deserved scores last night.
Shannen Doherty and Mark:
Full confession: I'm a Brenda girl and I never forgave Kelly and Dylan for betraying her like that. So I need her to last longer than Jennie Garth did on her season. She looked a little stiff and nervous last night, but I thought she did great. And I'm totally cheering her on.
Erin Andrews and Maks:
Despite being a sports nut, I had no idea who this girl was. My husband was the one had to tell me. Sidenote: I find it so interesting how the same guy who laughs at me for knowing things like Shannen and Pamela Anderson share an ex-husband, could tell me all kinds of details about this woman. In any event, thought she did fine, but she made no real impression. She's lucky she got paired with the hotness that is Maks. He'll definitely extend her shelf life for another few weeks.
Jake Pav-something and Chelsie:
Don't watch The Bachelor, so no clue who this guy is either. Love Chelsie (although I'd still rather watch reruns of her performances on SYTYCD than anything she's done on this show). I guess they were OK. I admit I started texting at this point.
Evan Lysacek and Anna:
He's really good, if kinda stiff and expressionless. Anna has worked miracles before (Jerry Rice in the finals anyone?) so with his natural talent they have a good shot to go far. Is he still dating Nastia Liukin? If so, my daughter will be on Team Evan.
Niecy Nash and Louis:
Another person I had no idea who she was. Seriously, I clearly need to get out more. I have no memory of her dancing, but she's funny and friends with Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Bonus points!
Nicole Scher-something and Derek:
Yeah, again, never heard of her. And Derek bugs me. I fast forwarded.
Buzz Aldrin and Ashly:
First off, yay for Ashly being back! She was always my husband's favorite. I don't know if that means he secretly wishes he'd married a ballroom dancing Mormon, but I'm okay with it. And that adorable dirty old man Buzz. So what if he can't dance? He's 80-years-old people. And he's been on the freaking moon. And he drinks Tang. It's all good.
Kate Gosselin and Tony:
We've all heard the rumors-- she's a diva, doesn't socialize with the cast. But we can't hate her based on just rumor. Instead we must hate her based on what we know to be fact-- bad hair extensions, way too much pink in that dress and copping a total attitude during the judging portion. My poor Tony. Someday he'll get a partner he can win with.
Aiden Turner and Edyta:
That much pretty in one place isn't fair. Thankfully God balanced it out by making sure he had no dancing ability to speak of.
Pamela Anderson and NewGuy:
Was she drunk?
So far I'm pulling for Ochocinco and Shannen. And of course Tom Bergeron, because he rocks. Who are your faves?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I am mother, hear me roar
In the 8 years that I've been a parent, I've learned that the hardest thing for me to handle is watching another kid be mean to my child. I never know the proper ettiquette for those situations. Do I intervene, or let the kids work it out amongst themselves? Is it appropriate for me to discipline someone else's child? Given that I'm non-confrontational in nature (unless seriously provoked, and then, watch out), I usually end up talking to my child afterward about how they can handle themselves if it should ever happen again.
Today, however, was another matter.
My son was invited to a classmate's birthday party, which involved a 1-hour drive (each way) up a dirt-road, the last half of which was on a windy 1-lane mountain road with a maximum speed limit of 5 mph. It was also LA marathon-day, which meant it took 3 times longer than usual to get anywhere. Needless to say, by the time we arrived, I was in desperate need of an adult beverage. Clearly I wasn't the only one, as the first thing the hosts said to me upon arrival was they were sorry the facility didn't allow alcohol.
During the course of the party, I watched a child (who claims that my son is his best friend) go out of his way to be mean to him. Even when my son tried to ignore him and go play with other kids, he kept it up. I finally had enough, gave him the patented "mom" glare, and said "back off my kid you little psycho or I'm going to kick your ass."
OK, not really.
What I told this child was that a true friend is someone who makes you feel good about yourself, not someone that tears you down. And that if he couldn't find a way to treat my son with kindness, my son was going to eventually choose to have nothing to do with him any longer. And explained to him what 'empathy' meant.
And then I tattled on him to his mother. :)
It was all quite satisfying. And then I realized that I need to make sure I put theory into practice in my own life. True friends make you feel good about yourself. I think a spring cleaning of my own relationships is definitely in order. Life is too short, and I'm too busy to nurture relationships with people who aren't good for me.
And then maybe I'll tattle on them to their mothers, just for good measure.
Today, however, was another matter.
My son was invited to a classmate's birthday party, which involved a 1-hour drive (each way) up a dirt-road, the last half of which was on a windy 1-lane mountain road with a maximum speed limit of 5 mph. It was also LA marathon-day, which meant it took 3 times longer than usual to get anywhere. Needless to say, by the time we arrived, I was in desperate need of an adult beverage. Clearly I wasn't the only one, as the first thing the hosts said to me upon arrival was they were sorry the facility didn't allow alcohol.
During the course of the party, I watched a child (who claims that my son is his best friend) go out of his way to be mean to him. Even when my son tried to ignore him and go play with other kids, he kept it up. I finally had enough, gave him the patented "mom" glare, and said "back off my kid you little psycho or I'm going to kick your ass."
OK, not really.
What I told this child was that a true friend is someone who makes you feel good about yourself, not someone that tears you down. And that if he couldn't find a way to treat my son with kindness, my son was going to eventually choose to have nothing to do with him any longer. And explained to him what 'empathy' meant.
And then I tattled on him to his mother. :)
It was all quite satisfying. And then I realized that I need to make sure I put theory into practice in my own life. True friends make you feel good about yourself. I think a spring cleaning of my own relationships is definitely in order. Life is too short, and I'm too busy to nurture relationships with people who aren't good for me.
And then maybe I'll tattle on them to their mothers, just for good measure.
Monday, March 15, 2010
After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same
A friend posted a Facebook status update recently about how using her KitchenAid mixer to make a 5th birthday cake for her twin daughters made her think of the group of friends who gave it to her as a wedding gift. As part of that group, her post made me feel both nostalgic and horrified (has that much time really passed that the girls are now 5?), and sure enough, almost immediately all of us came out of the woodwork to post our memories and snark.
In a very Ya-Ya Sisterhood way, our little group even has a secret name (in our defense, when you're in your early twenties, lots of things seem like a good idea). And adding to the silliness, each of us has our own secret code name. So ingrained are these names in my brain, that referring to any of my girls by their real, not so supersecret code names feels wrong. I literally have to force myself to call them by their real names in public.
The eight of us have been friends for more years than I care to count. During that time, we've seen each other through break-ups and new boyfriends (and girlfriends), losing parents, coming out, countless moves, engagements and marriages, having babies and stepchildren, grad schools and new jobs. The only constant has been change.
Well, that, and how much we dislike Gwyneth Paltrow.
Life is so busy and we're no longer able to talk as much as we used to, or be able to drop everything for a girls' weekend in Vegas, NYC or North Carolina (yes, really, North Carolina). But I know that whenever I need it, there are a group of people who not only understand me, but understand how I think, whether it be about work/parenting struggles, beauty product recommendations, or an in-depth discussion about the Twilight saga.
Female friendships are an amazing gift.
In a very Ya-Ya Sisterhood way, our little group even has a secret name (in our defense, when you're in your early twenties, lots of things seem like a good idea). And adding to the silliness, each of us has our own secret code name. So ingrained are these names in my brain, that referring to any of my girls by their real, not so supersecret code names feels wrong. I literally have to force myself to call them by their real names in public.
The eight of us have been friends for more years than I care to count. During that time, we've seen each other through break-ups and new boyfriends (and girlfriends), losing parents, coming out, countless moves, engagements and marriages, having babies and stepchildren, grad schools and new jobs. The only constant has been change.
Well, that, and how much we dislike Gwyneth Paltrow.
Life is so busy and we're no longer able to talk as much as we used to, or be able to drop everything for a girls' weekend in Vegas, NYC or North Carolina (yes, really, North Carolina). But I know that whenever I need it, there are a group of people who not only understand me, but understand how I think, whether it be about work/parenting struggles, beauty product recommendations, or an in-depth discussion about the Twilight saga.
Female friendships are an amazing gift.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Girl power
"There's a woman at the beginning of all great things." - Alphonse de Lamartine
Here's another group of five. This time, it's just a few of the remarkable women that inspire me to keep learning, feeling, growing, trying and loving.
Disclaimer: This list includes only a few of those that I admire from a distance. The incredible women who have played a role in my actual life is a subject for another blog (or another 100 blogs).
1. Annette Bening. Love her. She is responsible for me watching The American President more times than I care to admit.
2. Kate Winslet. Smart, talented, makes unconventional choices. Does things unapologetically her own way.
3. Jennifer Weiner. Funny and insanely talented writer. My role model.
4. Barbra. No last name needed, because she freakin' Barbra.
5. Anna Quindlen. My go-to writer when I'm trying to figure out "what it all means." If she doesn't have it all figured out, she sure manages to fake it well.
Here's another group of five. This time, it's just a few of the remarkable women that inspire me to keep learning, feeling, growing, trying and loving.
Disclaimer: This list includes only a few of those that I admire from a distance. The incredible women who have played a role in my actual life is a subject for another blog (or another 100 blogs).
1. Annette Bening. Love her. She is responsible for me watching The American President more times than I care to admit.
2. Kate Winslet. Smart, talented, makes unconventional choices. Does things unapologetically her own way.
3. Jennifer Weiner. Funny and insanely talented writer. My role model.
4. Barbra. No last name needed, because she freakin' Barbra.
5. Anna Quindlen. My go-to writer when I'm trying to figure out "what it all means." If she doesn't have it all figured out, she sure manages to fake it well.
This is of course just a small sampling, and my actual list could go on forever. What inspires and motivates me are smart and talented people who are unique and march to the beat of their own drummer. Those who turn conventional wisdom on its ear, and succeed anyway. Who don't know the meaning of the word can't. One of my favorite quotes comes from the fabulous Dolly Parton (who would make the above list if it were expanded to ten):
"Find out who you are and do it on purpose."
Monday, March 1, 2010
I'm such a girl
One of the sweetest things I've ever seen happened this past weekend. My cousin toasted his wife (whom he has known for 41 years) on her birthday by serenading her, off-key, in a room full of about 80 people. Just him, a piano player, and a microphone.
He was earnest. He was nervous. And he wasn't drunk. After all this time, he still loves her to distraction (he told us all it was love at first sight), and needed everyone in that room to know it. It was one of the most heartfelt declarations of love I've ever seen, and by the time he was finished, I wasn't the only woman in the room who was very happy to be wearing waterproof mascara.
To paraphrase one of my favorite children's books, the two most important things in the world are music and love. We should all be so lucky as to have our lives be filled with both of those things in abundance.
He was earnest. He was nervous. And he wasn't drunk. After all this time, he still loves her to distraction (he told us all it was love at first sight), and needed everyone in that room to know it. It was one of the most heartfelt declarations of love I've ever seen, and by the time he was finished, I wasn't the only woman in the room who was very happy to be wearing waterproof mascara.
To paraphrase one of my favorite children's books, the two most important things in the world are music and love. We should all be so lucky as to have our lives be filled with both of those things in abundance.
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