It's so cliche, but when you are a kid there are so many things that adults can tell you until they're blue in the face, but you won't believe it until you're older.
One such thing is how important family is. My kids seem to be in a constant fight to the death. My husband and I joke that our house doubles as Thunderdome (yes, I'm showing my age in using a Mel-Gibson-when-he-was-likable reference). In fact, their arguing is such a common soundtrack to our family life that I am far more inclined to notice it if they are getting along. I always tell them how lucky they are to have each other. This is usually met with no small amount of eye-rolling and, "yeah, whatever mom. But s/he took my [fill in the blank]!"
I have experienced no small amount of loss in my life, the most recent of which was the passing of my beloved Great-Aunt late last week. Her death was shocking in its suddenness (she suffered a massive stroke), and left us kind of reeling with how to make sense of it, and with our relationships with her. Fortunately for us, she was an amazing lady, who never left any doubt about exactly how much she loved you, and how special she thought you were. In fact, she told you exactly that every single time you saw her. I was left with a great deal of sadness over her death, that's true. But I am so thankful for all the time I had been able to spend with her over the years, and for knowing how much she loved me and my children.
A few years ago, my husband's grandfather died (ironically on the same date, 1-13, as my great-aunt). He was, without question, the kindest and most loving person I have ever known. Every time we saw him he would go on about how he could die at any moment, but he considered this period in his life to be "bonus time," and how he wanted us all to know how loved we were. To be honest, often this was tough to take. The last thing most people want to do on their downtime is sit with an elderly relative, discussing their imminent demise.
Getting older can be cruel. Unfortunately we are witnessing this now with my husband's other grandfather. And we're all so busy these days that it can be hard to want to spend time with someone who is ill, or elderly (or both). It can take so much effort to be understood, conversations can be stilted and awkward. It can take effort.
But in the end, those countless conversations aren't for them. They're for you. Because the day will come when they will be gone. And you will be profoundly grateful for every word you shouted into their "good ear." For every time you listened to the story you've heard a million times before about their neighbor when they were eight-years-old. And for every hug, kiss, and squeeze of the hand.
Love is the most important thing of all. Not only giving it, but allowing yourself to receive it.
